Isn't $28,000 at Panda Express better than $0 at home?

Well I reckon I am at the wrong place but what the hay. Dear Offensive I am confused by your title, Offensive you are not. I have read some oy your articles. I find them extremely perceptive, on the money, and down right hilarious.

Personally I have not been unemployed for many years, but you brought back memories and emotions beyond belief. Back in the day I was a decent test taker, I took the PACE EXAM for the Civil Service. I scored a 98, with 5 veteran bonus points, I was jacked up to 103. With a score of 90 an applicant could expect a GS5 to GS7 job. With a score of 95 an applicant could expect a GS7 to GS9 job, making about double what a first year teacher would make in a mid Atlantic state. So I figured that four years in college would not be wasted. Within days of receiving my scores, while waiting for the sphone to ring off the hook with bountiful offers, President Carter announced a freeze on all job hiring. The freeze lasted until Ronald Reagan became president. When the freeze was lifted I inquired with the Civil Service Commission as to when I might expect one of these great job offers. They informed me that do to the large number of eligible applicants an individual was only entitled to be listed in the applicant pool for one year. My name had been removed six months earlier. Anyway the entire 12 months that I was eligible for a great job not a single person was hired.

I went to the Veteran's Administration regional office looking for help in finding a job. They asked me if I had post traumatic stress disorder syndrome, I said no, of course I should have said yes. They asked me if I had a drug problem, I said no, of course I should have said yes. They asked me if I was a convicted felon, I said no, of course I should have said yes. They asked ne if I had psychiatric problems, I said no, and of course I should have said yes. At the end of the interview they told me they could not help me because I did not qualify for any of their programs (for losers) so what did I want from them. "Duh, help finding a job." They told me to look in the paper.

I went to the state employment office, they told me to look in the job postings book. My four year college degree qualified me for a job as a dishwasher, night security guard, and just about nothing else.

I went to the University of Delaware, to their graduate placement office. I got me to fill out a series of forms and basic resume's. After which they let me use a rolodex for an hour with the personel office addresses of the Fortune Five Hundred Companies for an hour. Then they told me to read a book called "What Colour is My Baloon". They sent me on my way. On the first of the month they sent me a bill for $75.00 for all the help they gave me. When I told them basically to F____ OFF, they turned my name over to a collection agency, ruined my credit rating and refused to honor any transcript requests until I paid the bill. The thing about the transcripts was no big deal, it seems no Fortune Five Hundred companies were interested in a University of Delaware graduate with a history degree.

I should have gotten a job teaching school with a history degree, RIGHT. From 1976-1989 the entire state of Delaware did not hire one new history teacher, with the exception of two or three whose father's were school principals or had thirty years teaching experience.

I could easily land a job as an insurance salesman or a car salesman. Of course those jobs only lasted until a person sold a worthless life insurance policy, or an over priced gas guzzler to all his/her friends or relatives. Since most of my friends were either selling insurance or selling cars, or had just purchased worthless life insurance, or an over priced car, I really did not have any prospects there.

In the end I scrapped together about $100.00. With that money I went to the food distribution center in Philadelphia, and bought $100.00 worth of wholesale produce. I set up on the side of the road and sold produce. On mother's day I sold flowers. In the end I should have saved that money I wasted on college. Rather I should have joined the Unification Church, become a Moonie, and learned the flower trade from them.

So my friend, my advice to thee is go buy a basket of flowers and get thee a Freeway on ramp. In LA, if you survive the drive by shootings, you might be eligible for a program that will help you deal with post traumatic stress disorder syndrom.

Peace, Love, and all that happy HORSESHIT, RJX