April 23, 2000

Knicks do well in playoffs, but who really notices anymore?
   by mike <>

"The Bulls are looking for their championship rings here, but it looks grim. Four seconds left and the ball is shot to Paxton on the three point line, he goes up, it's IN! BULLS WIN IT!"

Do you remember that? I sure do. I remember the next three subsequent seasons were the last productive seasons of the National Basketball Association.

MSNBC states today that the Knicks are "...feeling some playoff pressure.." but are hanging in there. I ask you, who cares? How can it be possible that there's pressure at all? There's no serious team in the NBA. The Raptors? What ad wizard thought it would be a good idea to name a basketball team after an extinct dinosaur? Doesn't that kind of seal the fate of the team? By the way, do you think the guy who named the team still has a job there?

"Well, you guys, I'm glad you're all here, but we're doomed to extinction by our fourth season. Sorry."

Anytime we need a Canadian basketball team to come and play in the playoffs because we can't get enough people to buy tickets to normal games, it's a sign the association is going under. Look what happened to hockey when the Maple Leafs joined the NHL. (I'm Canadian. I can say it, damn you.)

Well, we might as well look at one more of the remaining teams in the playoffs real quick:

The Bulls have 17 wins and a whopping 65 losses. Jerry Krause might as well quit while he's not as far behind as he's going to be next year. Just use your remaining money to buy some Jenny Craig, you fat, ugly, cholesterol-filled pig. Two words that summarize your franchise's demise: "Tim Floyd".

Basically, basketball is crap now. What once united a country to see if MJ could beat those retarded Seattle Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuupersonics now repulses most people because it now just flops about like a fly with its wings yanked off.

Sorry, guys. Without this sport to keep me occupied, I'm going to have to find another hobby, like whoring myself to fat, lazy slobs on a local street corner. Hey big guy, wanna have some fun?

Published: April 23, 2000
Editor: robin

All submissions remain the intellectual property of the author. Copying is prohibited unless permission is granted by the author.

All stories containing offensive language or content are classified as such. If you do not want to see this material, do not choose anything in the Offensive category. Read at your own risks. You have been warned.

Published by
All rights reserved.