June 10, 2000
More On Separation
By the time this is published, I feel I will have completely broken my mother's heart. You see, right now I'm living in the quiet little town of Rock Hill, SC. That's on the east coast for the map-impaired. And I just accepted a job in Palo Alto, CA. That's 3200+ miles away on the west coast, for you without an atlas on your forehead.
3200 miles away from home. For the first time in my life, I will be farther away from home than I can drive in a normal working day. At least when I was in Philadelphia, if I so chose, I could hit the highway and be home in just under 10 hours, if I didn't hit DC at rush hour. I could be home in 9 if I only stopped for gas and kept the speed up. But now, it takes 60+ hours to drive home. Or many many bucks to fly home, unless I book a month in advance.
But back to the breaking of Mother's heart. As many of you are aware, on March 27, 1999, I was in a near-fatal auto accident. Mom took that particularly hard, which is understandable. She almost lost me once. Now she feels she is losing me again. And it's killing me inside because this is causing her so much pain. I would never do anything to intentionally hurt my mother. But I must do this. I cannot ever remember feeling so strongly about making a change like this in my life. Not when I moved to Rock Hill, not when I went to school in Philadelphia, never. EVER.
It must happen. It will happen. And I'm sorry that my mother is hurting over this. But I have to make this change, or I will never be happy again in my life. The people I'm going out west to live with think, act, and work the way I do. And they live their lives the way I want to live mine. It's not about the money. I could make better money here in Charlotte, and I wouldn't lose nearly as much to taxes or housing. It's about the opportunity, and the people. I need to be with these people. I feel like I belong when I'm with them. I need to make some changes to my life, and they are the kind of people I want to be with when I do it.
PFFT to the pains of separation.
Published: June 11, 2000