June 11, 2000
On the order of civil disobedience - and penis envy, too
by mike <email@example.com>
Mine's bigger than yours. I put mine in more places than you do. Yours has a funny growth on it - looks like some kind of mold.
No, I'm not talking about your racing yacht. I'm attacking the very essence of your manhood.
Note: If you are female, I am attacking the very essence of your sex life. If you are of the lesbian persuasion, you might as well read a different article.
What is it with penis envy? Left and right, we see men who are insecure with their personalities alone. First, they worked out and popped steroids like Orville Reddenbacher's kernels, and that wasn't enough either. So they moved on to the size of their sexual "crotch rocket."
Is this bad? No. Is it silly? Yes. With problems like famine, hunger and war pervading humanity today, why are we wasting time worrying about the magnitude of our respective wangs?
Honestly, put the sword in the scabbard and help fix something. Why should you listen to me? Well, I make the Empire State Building look like a #2 pencil.
Published: June 12, 2000