October 23, 2000

Will you marry--- um, scratch my shoulder, please?
   by mike <mike@pfft.net>

Talk about feeling like an idiot.

On TV, you always see women begging their boyfriend to get engaged, get "hitched," "pop the question," or whatever other cliche they choose to use. It's typical that the guy is the slacker; the one who doesn't really need to receive that commitment from his partner in order to be satisfied with the relationship. Mine is exactly the opposite.

My girlfriend went away to college this year, and we've been dating for three years this month. Of course, I'm the one who's ready to get engaged. I thought she was too, considering all the talking we'd done about it and what not. I'd dropped a few leading questions to "test the waters."

Assuming all was well and good, I went ahead and started making plans to move this forward. I setup a message board for my close friends to post some ideas for discussion on how I should do it, and I booked a hotel room for a weekend so I'd have a whole weekend to work with.

And of course, I setup a time with her father during which to ask for his blessing in asking his daughter for her hand in marriage.

Of course, she catches wind of this and freaks out. Crying, she's yelling at me on the phone about how she's not ready and whatever. I asked her about her previous enthusiasm and she said, "I thought you were joking, so I played along." I don't joke about marriage. (So get this.. a guy walks into a bar...)

After having my heart ripped out because my girlfriend was JOKING about getting engaged, I have to find something to say to her father. I'm still working on that.

The most lasting effect from this is definitely going to be paranoia. I don't think I'll ever be able to put as much effort and creativity and manpower into a proposal again, for fear that might likewise be just to humor me. And that saddens me deeply. I'm the hopeless romantic type; the kind of guy that wants his proposal to be intimate and private, yet huge. And I can't see myself being able to fulfill that. ...all because of a "little joke." PFFT.

Published: October 23, 2000
Editor: stacy