November 19, 2000
An Electoral GPA
by mike <firstname.lastname@example.org>
What's your GPA? 3.7? If I were President, my so-called GPA would be at least 270! (I can never be President since I'm not a natural-born citizen, but bear with me.)
I'm not talking about a GPA in a traditional institution of higher learning - in fact, the place I'm speaking of isn't a "place" at all. The Electoral College has no students, faculty or classrooms.
And never before has this constitutional means of selecting a president received so much attention. In order for a U.S. Presidential Candidate to be elected, s/he must receive 270 "electoral votes." Right now, we're stuck on Florida's electoral votes. The 25 votes that state has will decide the outcome of the 2000 Presidential election. Scary, hmm?
Well, if you ask me, we can do without it. (No, wise-ass, not without a President.) The Electoral College was written in by the Framers of the Constitution to protect a young, inexperienced nation from selecting a potentially disingenuous President. However, more than two hundred years later, the country is perfectly capable of choosing its own leader. Right now, the electoral process exists only because Congress has not removed it.
Why remove it? Simple - to prevent deadlocks like the one we're currently experiencing from ever taking place again! A seemingly innocuous election process has now been supplanted by legal battles, name-calling and recount after recount. Without this electoral mudslinging, we'd have had a President by now! PFFT!
Who did I vote for, you ask? That's personal. I will tell you, though, that not enough people voted for "Christina Aguilera's chest" as a write-in candidate.
Published: November 19, 2000