November 27, 2000

The Dicks at the Strip Club
   Anonymous

Let me say this first: I am a girl. I am not a guy. I have a female anatomy, and I am heterosexual. OK, now that I have made myself perfectly clear, I can get on with the Pfft.

Last weekend, I was visiting friends in a city where I don't live, and we went to a male strip club. This is the second male strip club I've been to in my life, and it was a little different from the first one. I'll briefly describe both, for those of you who may not be familiar with this area of the genitalia of society.

I went to my first strip club about 6 months ago. I guess because of the laws in this area, or maybe just because of what they figure the clients want, the men are not nude, they just strip down to thongs. Usually there's one or two men on stage dancing, and maybe 10 standing around the club, wearing just the thong, either doing nothing or giving lap dances. Lap dances are exactly that: they don't strip, they just put their ass or dick in your face and shake it. However, you don't ever actually get to see the dick, just a huge expanse of something hanging from the underwear. Not having to show what's there probably works to these guys' benefit.

In the second club, the strippers walk around in long pants around the club giving lap dances, where they pull off the pants, revealing Calvin Klein boxers, which they pull down to reveal whatever's underneath. They don't really dance around nude, cause they only pull down the boxers very briefly, and when they're done stripping, the lap dance is basically over. The dancers on stage do the same thing, only a little slower. They start fully clothed, then remove articles til they can reveal dicks and asses, then leave.

OK, here's the beef: I went to these places to see naked men! At the first club, I was completely disappointed. What's worse is seeing so many women throw themselves (and their money) at men who, well yeah, look good, but are wearing the same as any guy at the beach. At the second club, they seemed to think they were doing me a favor by flashing the audience from time to time, at the end of the dance. Pfft!

Published: November 27, 2000
Editor: stacy