January 5, 2001

Are you listening?
   by mike <mike@pfft.net>

I'm sure you have no problem getting your point across to the people you meet in everyday life, right? When you go into McDonald's it might take you a few moments to convey that you don't want pickles on your Big Mac, but eventually you get your food.

The real question is how closely they're listening to you. Do others really hear what you tell them, or do they just assume they know what you mean? I, with the assistance of my friend Brett and his girlfriend Beth, conducted an informal survey into this just this past week. Our laboratory: The Olive Garden.

The location of the specific restaurant will have to remain confidential to protect those employed there, and the name of our server has been changed. Everything else is exactly as it happened.

Having sat down for what proved to be a wonderful meal, we ordered our drinks. "I'll have a poke, please," Beth said. I, however, ordered a Diet Poke. Our server, Donna, was more than happy to oblige, not having heard anything strange.

After our entrees were vigorously consumed as though we hadn't eaten in months, it was time for Beth to use the facilities and Brett and I to order dessert. After asking where "the breastroom" was, I ordered Strawberry Liboner (Limone). Brett, a lover of Tiramisu, asked for "Tear-anus-screw" and said "Yank you." to Donna.

After finishing dessert and wishing Donna a "Happy Screw Year," it was apparent to us that people don't truly listen to what you say; they just assume they know what's going on.

With results like this, I worry. What would happen should soon-to-be President Bush tell his National Security Adviser that he doesn't want "this ho no more" and we launch missiles at Russia?

...makes you wonder about a lot of things - like does it really take three licks to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?

Published: January 5, 2001
Editor: stacy