January 31, 2001

Fast Food, but definitely not Fast Minds
   by yawetag

Recently, in Kentucky, a cashier at a Fast Food Restaurant (let's call it Dairy King as to not give the real location away) cashed a $200 bill and gave the woman who used it $197 back in change.

A quote from the A.P. Wire on the story, emphasizing the obvious part of the paragraph: "A $200 bill bearing the likeness of President Bush would seem to be an obvious fake. But it seemed real enough to fool one fast-food cashier."

Yes, that's right... it had a picture of President Bush!

This brings me to the point of my rant: Fast Food Cashiers.

I have the luxury(?) of having a job that allows me to get some food while I'm out at another plant. Unfortunately, the only places close enough are fast food places. Here are some of the best stories I've collected through the past few weeks. As always, the names of the places have been cleverly disguised, as to not reveal the true identity of the restaura... ermmm, places to eat.

Recently, at a Taco Whistle, the price of my food was $6.38 (relax... I was getting food for someone else, too). To ease the hardship on the cashier, I gave her a $10, a $1, and 38 cents, making the total $11.38. Simple math will tell you that it should be $5 change. Well, apparantly, this cashier knew some higher math than me, possibly the kind that makes the earth revolve. It's also the kind that made my change $4.

At a McRonalds, they have a deal in which you get a free Apple Pie when you Super Size your meal. The few times I've been, I would Super Size my meal and the cashier would ask, "Would you like a free Apple Pie with that?" In an attempt to hold back my excitement by yelling "Oh, HELL YES!!!!" I would just say "Yes, please." Funny, though... when I get back to work, there is no Apple Pie. But the times they *don't* ask, lo and behold... there's an Apple Pie sitting at the bottom of the bag.

Again, at a Harday's, they seem to think that people like their hamburgers to be served gourmet-style by putting diced, as well as sliced, pickles on them. I *hate* pickles and onions on my hamburgers, so I always ask for *JUST* lettuce and ketchup on them. Apparantly, the cashier misheard me and thought I said "NO lettuce or ketchup, and EXTRA onions and pickles."

Lastly, at a KayFC, I order a Chicken Sandwich with NOTHING on it. I always make sure to emphasize the major words like "nothing" and "only." Again, this cashier thought "nothing" meant "nothing BUT the 1000 Island Dressing we put on it and call it 'Zinger Sauce.'"

After my experiences, it didn't surprise me to hear that a cashier at one of these places took a $200 bill.

Another thing that really makes me mad are the attitudes of the cashiers. No, you don't have to love your job, but you can at least act like you do when you talk to a customer. I didn't like my job when I worked at a pizza place, but I sure made it sound like I had the best job in the world when I was on the phone with someone.

It seems, though, that the cashiers are pre-programmed with what to say, and they say it like they have been. It's like listening to Ben Stein, only Ben makes it funny.

So to you cashiers out there, SMILE! One of the chains' slogan is "We love to see you smile." Apparently you do, because none of you like to smile.

And PFFT! to the cashiers that can't even subtract. I've noticed that Canadians have to pass some math question to win things on websites. Why can't they have a question like that on Fast Food applications:

"A customer's food cost is $6. She hands you $11. How much change do you owe her?"

NOTE: You may use one of the highly sophisticated machines the company has spent millions of dollars designing to make your job easier, yet you always seem to still screw up orders and change.

Published: January 31, 2001
Editor: stacy

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