February 23, 2001
Pardon me, Mr. President!
by mike <email@example.com>
I simply can't believe it. Clinton has managed to secure such a stronghold on the media that I swear he'll never get out. Three Mile Island could start glowing green, aliens could land and Marion Berry could quit smoking crack for good and we'd still hear about the latest Clinton scandal on the news first. PFFT!
This man goofed up. He did most things wrong - Whitewater wasn't the best career move, Cuban cigars are for smoking, etc. But the man is no longer our nation's Chief Executive!
So he pardoned some criminals. Who cares? Aren't the only people who get pardons criminals of some kind? Isn't that the whole reason they need to be pardoned? So stop freaking out - it can either be the tax evaders we set free, or Clinton can deliver John Gotti to your doorstep and tell him you were on the jury.
Let's stop focusing on Clinton's mistakes - there's nothing we can do about it. How about we shift our focus to making sure Bush's "Hooked on Phonics" tapes arrive on time. After all, geography isn't a problem - he proved with that last air strike that dammit, he knows right where Iraq is.
If I had to sum up my entire article in one word, it would have to be: "Strategery". Thank you - I'll be here all week. *bow*
Published: February 24, 2001