March 8, 2001

I just Lent you five dollars last week!
   by mike <mike@pfft.net>

I'm not going to go into all the reasons why I believe religion in general is a hoax. That would be too inflammatory. I will, however, focus my assault on one particular observance in the Catholic faith: Lent.

One friend of mine with whom I frequently engage in religious arguments believes that Lent is "an act of faith; a showing that you are willing to sacrifice for the Lord." That's ridiculous - if we have to have faith that God exists without any physical proof of it, can't He believe we exist without us giving something up for 40 days?

Another buddy of mine yelled at me for eating chicken on a Friday. If beef is meat and chicken is meat, why on earth are tuna and seafood not meat? Seafood is an equally meaty part of another kind of animal. What magical properties does it possess to make it exempt from "meat status?"

Why do we bend over backwards for something there is no direct evidence of? In 2000 years, will millions of people across the world start holy wars in my name without proof of my greatness? Unlikely. However, if I continue to spout such sacreligious filth, will the Catholics likely start a crusade to rid the world of me? Possibly.

I have always been of a more scientific than spiritual mindset - perhaps I lack the part of the brain that allows one to believe in something too great to comprehend. If that's the case, then I should be committed to the "Look through Christina Aguilera's bedroom window" Asylum. Bring it on.

Published: March 8, 2001
Editor: stacy