October 2, 2001

Six Flags? No thanks.
   by mike <mike@pfft.net>

I abhor it when people or organizations do not meet commitments they widely publicize. It eats at the very core of my bitchywhinyjackass soul. This time I speak about the Six Flags amusement park company, particularly Six Flags Great America in Gurnee, IL. They've really done it this year.

The summer season started off well enough. The park was advertising two new roller coasters this summer in an effort to bolster ticket and season pass sales. The price for tickets had soared, due to budget shortcomings last year, to an exorbitant $39.99 for a one-day adult admission. But of course, the promise of two roller coasters was enough to sucker me and countless others into a season pass for $86.00.

At the start of my first trip to the park in May, I was filled with a cool anticipation rivalling that of Navy SEALs. That was short-lived, though. Sure enough, one of the new rides hadn't even opened because the park had screwed up somewhere and ordered the wrong pulleys for something or other. PFFT. Now I was upset.

A future trip to this park in August found the same ride still closed. Additionally, some of the park's staff had gone back to school for the fall and left the park understaffed, forcing several ride closures. Is this my fault? I think not. It's not as if this park hasn't been open for more than 15 years. Do they not know what happens at the end of a summer? It's called PLANNING.

I went back a third time just last Sunday (the regular season is now over) and was shocked at what I learned. Not only was the new ride, DejaVu still not open, but the first new ride, Vertical Velocity, was closed for the season! Apparently, an electrical malfunction led to 10,000 volts backflowing into the transformer, leaving the ride inoperable. Now I was pissed.

We're not even breaking the surface, here. I won't even go into the fact that a hot dog costs $3.25 and a Coke $2.00. But after all of these critical mistakes, Great America still has the gall to charge $39.99 per ticket! Give me a break! Now I'm borderline psychotic.

There are people that can only afford to take their family of 5 to the park maybe once a summer, since it's going to cost them $200 just to get in. You're going to tell me that you're going to close rides at will with no remorse just because you didn't have the foresight to hire extra end-of-summer help?

Someone needs to file a civil action against these people for defrauding the public with two rides. I bought my season pass based in part by that promise. They didn't come through. Not my fault. So who's going to step up to the plate for us all? I think I'm just enough of a dick to be the man for the job.

Published: October 2, 2001
Editor: stacy