October 25, 2001
About that salad dressing thing...
You know, would it be so hard to make a salad dressing that tastes like steak? I'm the kind of person that could eat steak all day. To me, vegetarians are a food source. I would think about eating people after ten minutes in the Andes let alone days with out food. Hell, when I have to take a late lunch my co-workers get gitchy around me and don't like how I stare at them and drool while caressing my fork. Steak flavored dressing would at least make eating that rabbit food bearable. I'd eat salad more often, but it just tastes like crap. I even tried being a vegetarian for a month (for a girl no less, guys DON'T do it...it's not worth it. The worst thing was she claimed she could smell the meat on me if I sneaked around behind her back and ate steak. This is also the first time I cheated on a girl with a steakhouse mind you) and just couldn't do it. I even get guilted into eating a salad every once in a while to give my arteries a break. Every time I give blood I expect them to ask what that chunky stuff in my veins is. God, I'd pay money to the scientist that finds out cholesterol is good for us and steak should be 90% of our daily meals. There seems to be some fairly intelligent people in this group. Someone should be able to make something we can sell. I get 10% for the idea though.
PS And to the person who was complaining about steak houses, there are a couple steak places I can show you next time you're in Hawaii (Outback doesn't even make the list).
Published: October 25, 2001