November 6, 2001
Hello? Anyone there? Damn Ameritech!
by mike <firstname.lastname@example.org>
It's ridiculous. The Midwest, until very recently, was monopolized for local phone service by Ameritech, now SBC-Ameritech. Why is this bad? Allow me to illuminate your minds.
Phones are something we take for granted these days, but shouldn't we? It's a technology that's been around for hundreds of years (since 1876 when the first words spoken over the phone were, "Mr. Watson, come here. I want you." Alexander Graham Bell was a sick boy.). Some things, like air to breathe, are just a given these days. Unfortunately for us, crappy service is a given as well.
I live in a suburb of Chicago on a street that dead-ends at the end of my block by a nice little park. That's also where the Ameritech trucks sit and eat lunch and otherwise dick around for hours while I'm at home with no service. I'll put in a call for a technician to come out and I'll be lucky to see him/her within five business days!
Sometimes, my phone will be out completely and once service is restored [sometimes because I go out and mess with their wires], I'll call for a credit and be told to suck it. "You should have called when the outage started." Kiss my ass! I would have, had I had a WORKING PHONE. PFFT.
This company is run by a bunch of fat, greedy morons who don't care a bit about their customers; only the bottom-line. (Okay, they might not be fat, but I'm running with it.) And unfortunately in today's service-oriented economy, that kind of mentality won't last long. It's time for phone users across the Midwest to unite and.. uh.. I don't really know what we'd do, but it'd be bloody and pretty damn sweet. So grab your NTI and join in the bloodbath.
Oh, and in the absence of a 9/11 (or even 10/11) PFFT! article, I just wanted to say that Osama Bin Laden (a.k.a. Hasnt bin Laid) and all his little terrorist cowards suck the big magical dick. I know you've got internet access so you can read this: you suck ass - eat it. :-) Amen.
Published: November 6, 2001