January 14, 2002

We Deliver for You?
   by daisygreenhalgh <binkster79@yahoo.com>

Well, folks, the Federal Government is at it again, hardly working with YOUR MONEY.

I recently saw somewhere that the unreliable, incredibly inept, mindblowingly stupid and unbelievably PFFT! US Postal Service is once again thinking of raising first class postage rates. The first thing that came to mind was Jesus H. Christ, not again. The second thing that came to mind was WHY does the US Postal Service have to raise rates again? This is what I've figured out:

Even though the USPS is a service that the majority of us use every single day of our lives, they still feel the need to advertise. It's not like there's a fifty year old man in Moline, IL who hasn't heard of the Post Office. In fact, there are small children who not only know of the Post Office, they also know UPS and FedEx. If the Post Office was so concerned about saving money, they would stop running the damn ads. Everyone KNOWS their products. Everyone USES their products.

"But, but, what about UPS and FedEx and Airborne Express? They are cutting into the USPS's niche!"

It's entirely the USPS's fault. Basic capitalism. Supply and demand. For the most part, FedEx, UPS and the like deliver a superior product. It may cost a little more, but when it's gotta be done right, who do you go to? The Post Office, where loons in stained, ill-fitting shirts bark "NEXT!" to you after standing in line for an hour, where everyone reminds you of your crazed Oral Communications teacher in high school? Or do you go to UPS, where they wear ugly, but clean, uniforms, always have a nice smile on their faces, and promise to take good care of your package? Where they run The Tightest Ship in the Shipping Business? Gee, I wonder.

I'm sick and tired of a bloated, wasteful government bleeding me dry every week just so one of their sickly entities can sponsor Lance Armstrong in the Tour de France.

PFFT!!!!!

Published: January 14, 2002
Editor: stacy