January 26, 2002

Onomatopeia nice to see ya.
   by realsmug <realsmug@att.net>

This is probably my first mistake.

Since reading every posting at PFFT!, and yes my lips are chapped from it all, I've decided that PFFT! is only a small player in a big tank of PFFT! like...whatever they are. So being savvy at being smug I find it necessary to use sounds that are both politically correct and non x-rated when communicating with most every dolt I have to deal with, and that is most everyone I run into. Honing this ability to "keep them in the dark while telling them where to get off" has been a lifelong preoccupation, and though I'm loath to share my hard fought wisdom with the rest of you PFFT!'s wasting your time here, in the name of diplomacy and to keep tensions from rising any higher here's some alternatives that won't have their own website but will go down in the annals of PFFT! like PFFT!'isms:

Bah. Best used with a shake of the hand. Stolen from me by Dilbert or that dog that supposedly talks, but do I care? Bah.

Eeyaah. Spoken is a soft voice, meaning you are obviously unaware of the obvious. Fool!

Dowha(t)?. One of my many entries in the O.E.D. (thats the Odessa (Texas) English dictionary) and never prefaced by, 'you're gonna' or 'you want me to,' that's understood, except by the clueless recipient who thinks you are singing backup to a 60's Motown tune but that's OK and adds to this confusing maneuver when you really mean "your idea is the stupidist thing I've..."

I was about to write more but I would hate to confuse PFFT!s readership anymore than it already is. Besides, I'm hoping others will add to the list. I'll be happy to comment. Eeyaah.

Published: January 26, 2002
Editor: stacy