February 28, 2002

Your Mom Told You to Wear Socks!
   by mike <mike@pfft.net>

What a sad state of affairs. I was reading through the news today and stumbled across this story. Apparently, a sexual offender wanted in Florida fled from detectives into the woods of Maine. Not a surprise, right?

Well, apparently he spent three nights in those woods and got frostbite on his toes, which ultimately led to their amputation. Also not a surprise.

What does bother me about this, though, is that the guy has turned around and blamed the police for his loss of the five little piggies! He claims that the police were 'too slow' in arresting him, and their inability to chase and jail him in the same day cost him his toes. Hah!

You don't get to accuse the police of bullshit like that. It's called "Unlawful Flight to Avoid Prosecution" in most jurisdictions. This guy is basically blaming the police for consequences deriving from his breaking the law. That's tantamount to blaming the cops for serial murder - after all, "they should have caught me after the first one."

Perhaps the funniest part of all of this is that this guy is actually going to waste (yes, WASTE) our taxpayer money (okay, Maine and Florida's taxpayer money) getting an attorney and judge to hear his case. Boy is this amazing. Though I suppose we can't have the legal system we do if we don't give everyone their opportunity.

...so let's do that. Everyone gets their day in court. We'll start right after we beat this guy in Maine senseless. PFFT.

Published: February 28, 2002
Editor: stacy