February 19, 2003

Dark Days
   by kutulu <kutulu@otakumail.com>

This goes under delirium because that is exactly what I'm experiencing right now. I know I haven't been in this world long (21 years to be exact), but it feels like I've been here for way too long. I've been through to much. I feel so rundown, like I've been dragged along the asphalt for several hundred miles and no one has taken notice of my bloodied corpse. The time I've been dragged along has given me time to rethink and contemplate everything. I analyze and practicalize everything until it doesnt even feel real anymore. It's as if the very act of feeling has lost precedence over what I can understand and analyze. I believe it's commonly called numb. It doesn't matter what you or anyone calls it anymore. Because I'm just as numb to everyone as I am to feeling. I can't remember the last time I had a true heartfelt feeling of joy or happiness. Or maybe it's been so long that I just don't care. Well the point is that I'm not here nor there. Probably everywhere. Guess thats what happens when your out of your mind and driven mad.

Published: February 20, 2003
Editor: stacy