July 7, 2003

Stupid People, Can't Live With 'Em, Can't Live Without 'Em! - Part I
   by onepac <jokeeffeox@yahoo.com>

OK, So I have this fellow class mate who has me saying PFFT! on a regular basis. Where do I begin, how about with her incredible ability to misuse, mispronounce, or just plain butcher any word that has more than two syllables. In many ways she reminds me of Damon Wayon's character from "In Living Color," when he played the guy in jail that used big words, but none of them fit the sentence.

At first, I was willing to look past this person's error, because of the whole "nobody's perfect thing." I mean, sure, we all make mistakes. However, time and time again she made the same mistake, and refused to admit she was wrong when I corrected her. You're probably waiting for some of the stupid things that came out of her mouth. Well, here you go......but I must warn you, if you are in a room full of people, you'll get some funny looks when you laugh out loud.

For starters, her name is Marcia, pronounced "MARSA," and she makes a big deal about it, but her sister's name is Tricia, pronounced "TRISHA" the normal way, just another person trying extra hard to be unique.

So, apparently "Toronoto" is also a city in Canada, I wonder how Toronto, feels about this. There is a new SUV on the market, a "Rendisis"...funny, I thought it was a Rendezvous. I also learned, courtesy of my pal, that "Companion" and "Compatable" are interchangable, switch as you desire. When you go to court, you aren't prosecuted, you are "Persecuted." It's not grasp, it's "graps." This girl is pregnant, and she wants to name her kid some wierd name....anywho she came up with Nevaeh...sounds innocent enough, but when I asked her to spell it she said "N-A-V-A-E-H, you know like HeavEn, but backwards." (In case you didn't catch it, the last vowel is an E, not an A. If you can't spell your child's name, how the hell do you expect anyone else to. At the end of the movie, it was interesting to learn that the "Critics" roll, not the credits.

Honestly, this list goes on forever, but I must stop here. Before you grow sad...not to worry, there's a lot more of this girl's retarded comments. Just to give you a little something to look foreward to. In PART II, I'll tell stories like the time that I had to explain to her why it is that everyone and everything would die, if the sun burned out, or that a mullet isn't just a fish, it's also a hair cut.

As you can see my days are filled with uncontrollable laughter and amusement, and in Part II you'll laugh just as hard, if not harder.

Published: July 8, 2003
Editor: stacy