Conspiracy Theory

May 9, 2005

Acne Medications are for suckers

OK, I admit it. I'm 26 years old, and I still have acne. It's not like it's a big secret, it's sort of hard to hide. I think I have my father to thank. He's 50-something and still gets pimples on his back, but at some point he got lucky and his face cleared up. It's the opposite for me. I used to get zits on my back and shoulders but I don't much anymore, however, the acne on my face, while not vicious, is worse than you expect to have when you get out of high school.

I could say I'm skeptical of the over-the-counter acne medications, but that would be disingenuous. I'm only skeptical because I've tried them and none of them work. I think almost all of the products you can get at the drugstore contain either salicylic acid or benzoyl peroxide. I'm not sure what salicylic acid is supposed to do, but it burns (and doesn't get rid of zits). Benzoyl peroxide is a drying agent, which it does, as well as a bleaching agent, which it also does if you're unfortunate enough to put your shirt on after you've applied it to your nose. But it doesn't get rid of zits.

Is it just me? Can anyone else walk into the Walgreens and pick up any random Anti-Blemish Spot Cream, or Zit Away Soap, use it for a week, and have great results? The sheer number of products available almost makes me think it's not quite that way. You try Neutrogena #7 or Clearasil #4, they don't work, so you try Biore #2, and so on. Compare it to drain uncloggers. There are basically 2 products available, Drano and Liquid Plummr, and I can vouch for both of them. Maybe I should try Drano on my forehead.

There is one place to go for real help, and it's not those overnight infomercials with the lady from Who's the Boss. I haven't tried that stuff, I do have some dignity left. (small voice.. I did try the Nads stuff they used to show on infomercials, and it was crap. Go figure.) No, the place to go is the dermatologist. I've done that too, and lo and behold, it worked. For a while. I was taking an antibiotic every day, and putting two different prescription creams on my face, but after about a year, they quit working. It was a while before I got back to the doctor, and he changed my prescriptions, but I couldn't see much of a difference.

I guess I just have to suffer and wear makeup. But in the meantime, I've got a new blemish gel to try.

Published: May 9, 2005
Editor: stacy

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