September 18, 2005

Mawwiage, is what bwings us together today....
   by jhyde

I have a philosophical question. First, let me explain the roots of my problem. I have been long distance dating a guy for almost two years. We've been engaged for almost ten months. We've never lived in the same city throughout our entire relationship. Recently we've decided that it's time for one of us to move, and I elected to move. We're over 1,000 miles away from each other. While I would like to move into his house immediately and begin living with him, I don't believe that's following proper protocol. Some recent advice was that I should move in with him anyways, just to see if we're even compatible, which I see the point but I firmly disagree with it. I think it would be better to be married before I move in, that way if he scares me off or vice versa, at least we're married and stuck with each other, which will be more reason to stick it out than if we weren't. Obviously I want us to work out, and don't expect things to be perfect (they never ever are) but I will have in the back of my mind the other option of moving in first, and whether that really would be better for both of us. Finally getting around to the philosophical question here: Does testing marriage before getting married make marriage meaningless? Is testing a marriage before getting married worth the chance of being ostracized from a community that is strongly against such things? I'm struggling to come to a conclusion on these matters, I would like to revert to the times when marriage was not such a proper institution so I could do what I need and not what everyone else needs me to do. Any thoughts out there on the matter? Comments greatly appreciated!

Published: October 17, 2005
Editor: stacy