February 3, 2006

Wrinkles and Spandex Don't Mix
   by gforce <>

I love spandex. I mean who doesn't love the feeling of constriction on every part of your body. Yeah, the tightness is just great. It's hard to write sarcastically so give me a god damn break.

In reality, I hate spandex. I'm not talking about UnderArmor, but a full-blown fucking second layer of skin. I think it's one of the worst inventions (if you can even call it that) ever. Bikers wear it all the time. If it makes you go faster in a race, more power to you, but when you start wearing it even for just a bike ride it really pisses me off. I do not need to see your already disgusting body in more detail. I just don't.

Even more, why do you feel the need to wear it everywhere? I was in a store and one of you jerkoffs walked in and bought a bunch of food. You're telling me that for a ride down to the grocery store, you had to put on your little suit. It's got to be like a five minute trip! For that you probably took twenty minutes of your life trying to get it on.

Now to the meat of my bitching: Old people. Why old people? Why? Don't you realize that not a single person on this earth wants to see your skin-craters in more definition? Please, stop showing off your flabby body.

Wear a t-shirt, a sweat-shirt, a jacket. Wear a dress for all I care. Just take off the spandex and burn it. Release yourself from the evil hold this apparently has on you.

Published: February 4, 2006
Editor: stacy

All submissions remain the intellectual property of the author. Copying is prohibited unless permission is granted by the author.

All stories containing offensive language or content are classified as such. If you do not want to see this material, do not choose anything in the Offensive category. Read at your own risks. You have been warned.

Published by
All rights reserved.