June 24, 2006
The Rosie Tint of Motherhood
With all the fatigue, heartburn, hormonal upheavals, emotionally strained moments in my family, round-the-clock hunger, and future-related stress I actually kinda like being pregnant. I don't have to carry a whole lot of stuff any more, it's like I suddenly have a disability and can't juggle a coffee cup, papers, keys, cell phone, dog, and bag of groceries all at the same time. I don't have to drive downwind of the smelly car because the driver wants to get me out of the fumes. I don't cook breakfast when I'm with my fiance because he's extremely sensitive regarding "morning sickness" which thankfully that season's over (I'm not telling him that!).
I'm just starting to show and am at the awkward moment when people would love to ask me if I'm pregnant but also think I might be putting on some weight and are afraid to ask me directly. I've adapted to blurting it out like it's my birthday, "Guess what? I'm preggers!". I've limited my amount of Google searches regarding pregnancy to one per day, because if I didn't I would sit in front of the computer reading about being pregnant rather than experiencing it for myself. I fear this new-found euphoria might vanish when I start feeling the burden of pregnancy (sure it's all fun and games right now but wait until it kicks!), and it makes me wonder... is this why women desire to get pregnant? Is this the fulfillment I've been looking for but never thought possible? Am I simply programmed to experience this happiness or dare I believe it to be real?
Published: June 25, 2006