June 22, 2008
Left out of Marriage
I married an out of towner. I was originally thinking that he would come and live with me in my town and all would be bliss. I was delirious and I admit it. Logic came in somehow and I decided that it would be good for me to uproot and move to his town, I would eventually get the hang of it and I would be just fine. I packed up a few of my belongings and headed out for the big city, 1900 miles away.
I realized at the time that I was leaving behind an entire house full of memories, furniture and various crap, a brother, a sister and all my extended family, connections etc. I wondered at the time if it was really worth it, and when I got pregnant a mere three months later, had decided that it really wasn't.
Truth be known I'm lazy and while I thought about leaving my husband, saying goodbye to my one bedroom apartment, and going back to my town where I thought I was appreciated and understood, my husband bought a house and I moved in happily. I thought it was a good idea. I thought it was the only thing really holding me back. Who wants to have a kid while having no income and living in a one bedroom apartment? Well not me.
Anyways, I got a job to help us afford the obscene mortgage and home ownership liabilities and as much as I'd rather eat bon-bons I actually like my job.
So I kinda feel stuck..
It doesn't get bad until my husbands friends come over and I realize that I have no friends, no connections, nobody to reminisce with and nobody who really knows me.
Not even my husband. What makes it worse... We're not even married.
Published: June 24, 2008